I probably always overestimate my abilities, which probably then explains why I end up being really disappointed with myself when I don’t reach the targets I set. I overestimate my perseverance, my stamina to take on heavy workloads. I overestimate my brilliance and ideas, only to be crushed when they don’t seem to prove themselves in solid evidence. I overestimate my optimism, my ability to recover from a setback. I always try so hard to do well but I never seem to reach my targets. It’s so frustrating, and silly as it sounds, I have always feared my intelligence declining with age. I feel stupider than I did 5 years ago. Perhaps a flame has dimmed in me? Then on whom will I depend on to light the path I will walk on for the rest of my life?
I feel lost. I feel stupid. I feel insecure. I feel ugly. I feel lonely. I feel useless. I feel exhausted. I feel unreal.
Today is not a good day.
I feel like I was totally cheated of my feelings…
MANY SONGS BY SM ARTISTES AREN’T EVEN ORIGINAL!!!
What SM does it that it buys the rights of less popular songs or demos and then rearranges them in their own studio as a ‘new’ track for their artistes. SHINee’s Juliette, f(x)’s Danger and Girls’ Generation’s Genie were all bought from American artistes. I never knew this! I thought all the wildly popular, chart-topping songs were original creations from SM!! I thought SM was genius to create such awesome songs!!!
The magic of SHINee and SNSD is lost for me :’( Now I pray YG and Cube Ent are not going to do the same…
They eat, sleep, study, play and go wild.
Like we do.